Sunday, August 30, 2009

Fasting from Facebook

A reading from the letter of Joe to the Facebookers

And so, Joe was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, to be tempted by the devil. And when he fasted for 7 days and 7 nights (from Facebook) he was afterward hungered.

And when the tempter came to him, he said unto Joe, check thine homepage, for witty piths doth emerge there, and thy friends have taken many quizzes and offered you many virtual drinks to imbibe. Surely thou art curious.

But Joe answered and said, It is written, "For the fool will speak folly, and his heart will work iniquity, to practice profaneness, and to utter error against Yahweh, to make empty the soul of the hungry, and to cause the drink of the thirsty to fail." (Isaiah 32:6)

So then the devil taketh him to his flatscreen monitor and sayeth unto him, if thou art a Jesus Freak, at least change thy update on Facebook and share thy inner thoughts with some witty banter, for surely they will benefit from your wisdom.

And Joe said unto him, It is written, "Don't be wise in your own eyes. Fear Yahweh, and depart from evil." (Proverbs 3:7)

Again, the devil took Joe before his monitor and showeth him all the games as far as the eye could see, from Mafia Wars to Pirates, from Vampires to Superhero City, and he said unto him, all these dollars and pesos and plunder and blood I can make real, and you must check in anyway before you lose your Energy Boosts and some scab comes and taketh away your health and money.

And Joe said, Get thee behind me Satan, for it is written, "The love of money (or points or whatever) is the root of all kinds of evil." (1 Tim 6:10)

Then the devil left him, to wait for a more opportune time to tempt him. And the angels came
and ministered unto him.

And he had a very satisfying week, enjoying the company of his wife and children, praying, and accomplishing projects at work.